day 3 : One of my greatest fears

This is a particularly hard one for me because I’m very neurotic and have many fears but one of my greatest fears is losing the people I love. I know it’s not healthy to live in a state of constant fear that my mom or my brother or my nephew or my fiance is going to die – WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!

The reason I fear this the most is because I’ve already lost someone very close to me and it nearly damn well killed me and every day I find it hard to live without him or his hugs or his advice. Some people might think, well then you should have already faced your fear and moved on, you would think so but I am constantly living my fear every day.

Can you imagine having to live your worse nightmare every day, well I do and I don’t know if i will ever be ok with losing the people I love but it is inevitable isn’t it nobody can outrun death so what are my choices? Learning to accept that death comes for everyone well I’m sorry I will never accept that my mom won’t be with me until I die or medication, that only covers up the underlying problem it doesn’t actually solve anything.

So folks I fight every day to let the people I love leave the house and go about their daily business it isn’t easy but it’s illegal to handcuff people in your basement 🙂 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s